Maryl recasts: Goldie, Blythe and me

No, I’ve never met Goldie Hawn or Blythe Danner, haven’t had coffee with them and our children didn’t go to school together. Then what do we three have in common? We don’t want to be called “grandma.” I’m not saying we don’t want to be grandmas but that we don’t want to be identified by a name that typically connotes an age much older than we feel. So Goldie and Blythe had their grandchildren rename them: GlamMa and Lalo respectfully.


Who knew? I thought I was the only one who was uncomfortable with the grandma moniker. But no apparently not. Grandparents.com has several articles on the subject like “How To Choose Your Grandparent Name.” The NY Times ran this topic as a story a year ago and there’s even a book titled, “The New Grandparents Name Book: A Lighthearted Guide to Picking the Perfect Grandparent Name.” As a result there are thousands of grandmas and grandpas everywhere being called something else.

The Four Grandmas

My added dilemma is that I am one of four grandmas for my stepson’s new baby. With divorce rates and remarriages continuing to rise, this is not unusual in an age of an ever-growing number of blended families. I’m on the end on the left in this photo above from the baby shower, next to the mother of the mother-to-be who is next to the father-to-be’s mom, next to the long-time girlfriend of the father of the mother-to-be. Did you get all that? We’re not normally together but for some reason we all knew to wear blue! I ask you, do we look like grandmas?  

Actually, this is my stepson’s second child. He has a most amazing daughter who will begin high school in the fall. Naturally I was much much too young to be a grandmother when she was born. She also has a few sets of grandparents. I’m not sure what she calls all of them but I just go by my first name. Truthfully I felt I didn't deserve a title that at least in the past only went to the two women with a direct blood line to the child's parents.  You have to be careful that you don't step on anyone's turf too.

How many grandparents can a grandchild have before they get confused and over-indulged?  Multiple names are necessary to distinguish each set.  And what’s my role as grandma number three or four anyway? I’m not retired, I don’t own a rocking chair, I don’t like to knit and I’d prefer not to visit the zoo although I wouldn’t mind going to Disney World again.

No matter what your station in the family, when it's time to welcome newborns to the world, who doesn't melt at their sight.
Just look at baby Savannah. She arrived two weeks early....ten perfect little fingers and toes, eyes like her father, smile like her mother....so sweet. My role is clear...just to love her.  And she can call me anything she wants.